The Friskies (2005)

The circuitous path of this two thousand and fifth year of our Lord is readily being traversed – the sands of time are quickly falling through the hole of that thing that holds the sand. Yes, it is almost six and two thousand.

In the spirit of remembrance and dead Indians, I submit the Friscalating Dusklight BlogAwards 2005 (The Friskies).

Best Review: Blue Like Jazz: A Review, C. Powell “This nationally syndicated review found its way to the pages of Christianity Today, the New York Times, Harper’s and even The Socialist Review. It’s impact is still being felt today as Donald Miller’s life has been rightly turned into a shambles and the only known copies remaining (that weren’t burned in the fires of our wrath) are in Cuba and Texas.” A. P. Rivell, PhD

Best Foreign Post: Whatever the crap Natalie posts when she condescends from her Spanish high horse. Seriously, Nat (If I can call you Nat), we have been waiting and waiting and now we are tired. We are tired of waiting! And you never e-mail…you never call. Sometimes I think of titles of posts you might be stewing over: “The Spanish and their many horses,” “Mino sounds like beano,” or “How many cocktails does it take for N. Smith to dance on the bar? Answer: none.” Please post soon.

Best Comment Appended to a Post: Donald Miller – “Like I give a damn what you think. I'm rich and I'm gay and I don't need you or your stupid book club's approval to feel good about myself.” Sheer Genius.

Best use of Profanity: City Daze pt. 1 ~ J.A. Klein, “Smoke little by little spilled from Maria’s pursed, red lips. “You’re a fuck-up, John,” was the last thing she spoke before turning to face the door, dropping her cigarette on the parquet floor...”

Best Poem: Papers Lay Heaped ~ A. Smith. “Smith’s portly poetry flows like ambrosia prose – satiating my lust and kissing my thoughts…It is the incarnation of ‘Yes, give me more.’” Wolcott Gibbs

Best Investigative Journalism: A Private Cleaning ~ J. Smith – “Jackie didn’t just observe peri-care, she became peri-care. I watched her as she brought in the alabaster flask and washed the elderly persons with her long flowing hair and tears. It was like music. Her post meant everything to me and more.” ~ Linda

Best Prose: The Continued Adventures of Cedric and Teddy Ruxbin ~ N. Smith. “Such lucid composition deserves much adulation, but we will give it none – who asked you to tell our story?!” ~ Cedric and Teddy Ruxbin

Best Overall Post: Death to Jacqueline A. ~ K. Bush. “What can be said about Ms. B-sh other than that I am unworthy to even mention her name so I hyphenate it. She is that good. Frankly, I am jealous, angry, and tired of being myself. Why can’t I be more like her? The felicity with which she adds letters to make words shames me. I am shamed. Shamed. Damn you, Ms. B-sh!” “Dr.” Kathy Greaves