ACT I Scene 1
[Inside Delta Delta Delta's house we join two "sisters" in the middle of a
heated debate concerning choice of ensemble]
Cindy: Karen, you know the rules. Only jean minis on days hotter than 55.
Karen: I'm tired of that stupid rule. Beisdes all my jean minis are at the dry
cleaners and these gaucho pants would look hot with your lilac baby t.
Cindy: You know we can only wear gauchos on Friday. What's wrong with you? Have
you lost all respect for sisterhood unity?
Karen: I don't care about the stupid rules anymore. I'm gonna wear this outfit
and look hotter than all of you!
Cindy: Have you gone mad? (takes out thick black book and ruffles through the
pages) Here it is, (reading from the book)"Rule # 2342: Absolutely NO
independent thought of any kind, EVER!" Okay? I know you know that, sometimes
we just need to remind eachother. So just calm down. Besides, if your big hears
you talking like that she'll have to report you and Jen will make you the
designated driver on Friday.
Karen: Whatever. I was actuallly considering poisoning the margaritas so that
you'd all DIE!
Cindy: Fine, it's your ass on the line and I'm sick of arguing about it.
Anyways, is this outfit slutty or trashy?
Karen: I think it's perfectly slutty but classy too.
Karen and Cindy(chanting):DELTA DELTA DELTA, classy whores unite!
(they giggle and hug)
[CURTAIN]
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1 comment:
Dear Natalie (from your big),
You know that jean minis are worn on days between 45 and 55, above 55 it's either 'daisy dukes' or cotton frilly skirts. Were I to let such an obvious offense go unpunished I would be, like, totally f*****d.
In any case, your lack of discretion in writing this piece is embarrasing to all panhellenic sisterdom. We, at the Grand Council are placing you under "bitch detention."
Until further notice, you are barred from borrowing clothes, taking advantage of the "study room" with your boyfriend, or from taking advantage of our discount on already cheap cosmetics at RiteAid.
Oh, and that outfit you wore today made your hips look poofy. And beige?...get real!
Sisters 4EVR,
Jessie-Lynn Witherington (debutante)
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