Just Call Me Sally

After perusing the delightful commentary of my distinguished colleagues and fellow literary inamoratas, I felt none too eager to compose my much anticipated first entry. An expressed angst of a similar breed, previously mentioned by Nicholas, has hitherto been dubbed unfounded and perhaps the same luxury will be granted my nerves. And when I say perhaps, I mean, "if you jokesters fail to praise my elevated diction and highly innovative style I think I might die." That said, I'll now attempt a short story meant to leave a sensation of pleasure and saitsfaction in the very depths of your plaque filled arteries.

"School's out for the summer!" Susie yelled, running down senior hall with a grin as big as a bus on her lily white face. "You shouldn't try to tell jokes
if you're too stupid to do it right," I cooly retorted after punching her lights out. Cold as a wet brick she sunk to the floor. I knew full well she
hadn't heard my clever quip, but I didn't really care. I calmly stepped over the pool of blood now growing rapidly under the head of the unconscious victim.

Someone slapped me five and someone else slapped my butt. "You've done us proud," shouted a raspy voice from the newly formed crowd as I fought to supress the smile that begged to be shown on my face. Without another word, I slowly sauntered away, the shouts of the crowd weakening as I went. Turning the corner at the end of the hall, I broke into a run...and a sweat consequently. Running through the band room I dared not stop to grab my flute from the instrument room. "One day without practicing isn't going to end the world," I reassured myself, though I didn't believe it at all. Down the stairs, out the cafeteria doors, and into the parking lot I ran. Realizing my car was in its senior spot, quite artistically painted I might add, on the other side of the building, I turned to surge up the hill.

I was nearly halfway up that stupid hill, when I stopped and yelled out, addressing myself of course, "What the hell am I doing?"

"What the hell haven't you done?" I heard a voice calmly say. I turned to see the voice had come from Officer Dirk and he looked none too happy. I walked over to him and blankly stared ahead of me. He slapped the cuffs on without a trace of resistance from myself. Ducking my head into the back seat of the squad car was satisfying in a strangely familiar way, and I let out a laugh. I was going home, I thought, and boy was I glad.