Un Petit Dejeuner

"Patty´s signing bitch," John informed me over the phone, and then went on to explain that Patty and he had a complex signaling system that they often used to express vulgarities across the room. The checker woman at the grocery store was indeed being a bitch, as John could plainly see as he observed the scene from the cereal aisle, where he was debating between original Captain Crunch or the peanut butter kind. He asked me which I would choose and I told him that Captain Crunch is disgusting and that he should get Oh´s instead. He laughed loudly back into the phone and for about five seconds longer than the joke warranted. I felt annoyed. He was always laughing at everything. And always laughing for way too long. He´s the kind of guy that laughs uneasily at bad jokes and makes the joke teller wish they had never said the joke at all. No one can fake laugh for as long as John does, so everyone else in the room eventually stops laughing and just looks on with fake smiles at the joke teller and John, feeling embarassed and uncomfortable for the pair of them. John´s a good guy, but come on, someone really ought to tell him about that laughing thing.

A Grimey Thong

In case you missed the news story to end all news stories, here is an excerpt in all its glory from our very own Daily Barometer.

"Nearby [the Genocide Awareness Project display in the OSU Quad] display protestor Ben Grimes stood in public wearing only a blue thong. Taped to his back was a note reading 'Shock value works for me too!' Grimes repeated the message on his back out loud. 'Their claim is to start dialogue - in truth it's just shock value," he said.
A part-time nude model (emphasis mine), Grimes said he'd readily dance around naked to prove his point if it weren't for Oregon public indecency laws. To add to his display, Grimes also carried and played a flute as he walked. 'I'm not cold actually,' he said. 'I'm quite comfortable.'"

The Genocide Awareness Project posts very large, distasteful images of supposedly aborted fetuses juxtaposed with images of ethnic cleansing and murder. This is done to convince individuals that abortion is wrong and to reduce the number of abortions. However, this pundit expects that Grimes' display of his semi-nude person was far more effective at preventing all manner of pregnancy - wanted or unwanted.

Some Reverends wear collars; others wear thongs. To each his own.